The Kakashi Hatake Show!
by College n Curls
Summary: Baby Mamma Drama seems to have taken over the Konoha airwaves!


**CC Note: Here's some funny randomness for ya'll! I'll be doing parodies of tv shows with this story! If you have a show you want done just put it in a review and I'll get back to you!**

**Episode 1: Hinata vs. Naruto, Neji, & Sasuke**

"Welcome everyone to another episode of Kakashi. I'm your wonderful and talented host Kakashi Hatake!" Kakashi smiled brightly as he introduced himself to the adoring studio audience.

Everyone clapped and smiled at the reaction he was getting from the crowd. He sat down in a plush beige seat. Only the best chairs for the number one show in all of Kohanna of course.

"Okay, today we have a very interesting show for you all. We have a beautiful young woman here with us backstage and she's got a terrible plight at the moment. She's at her wit's end!" Kakashi started and the crowd obediently awed. "So today we are going to get to the bottom of this and help her out as much as we can! Come on out, Miss Hyugaa!"

Kakashi turned to the direction of backstage and motioned for the set hands to signal the guest in and out from backstage came Hinata Hyugaa. She was wearing a light blue cami, a white cardigan, and a pair of black skinny jeans. Her face looked pale and her hair was tousled so she had a slightly unkempt look about her.

"He-Hello Kakashi. It's, it's a pleasure to be here." Hinata said softly as she shook his hand and took a seat in a chair near him.

"How are you feeling, Hinata?" Kakashi inquired.

"I-I'm doing pretty well." Hinata said.

" So the man you say is the father of your baby is denying it, correct?" Kakashi asked and Hinata solemnly nodded.

"Well let's get a picture of the baby up here on the screen." Kakashi pressed a button and the big TV screen behind them lit up and displayed a beautiful healthy baby of about eight months old. It had tufts of black hair and big dark gray eyes. It was lying in its stroller holding a stuffed tomato plush. The crowed ohhed and awwed at how cute the baby was.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Kakashi asked.

"It's a boy. His name is Shinji." Hinata said without stuttering, she was proud of her son.

"Well let's get a look at his so called 'father'. Um, are you alright with us bringing him out?"

"N-n-" Hinata started to protest but Kakashi didn't wait for her to answer, he really didn't care what her answer was.

"Naruto Uzumaki! And his girlfriend Sakura Haruno! Come on out!" Naruto came on stage in a bright orange t-shirt and black shorts. Following him was Sakura came with a bright pink tube top and a pair of pink daisy dukes. The crowd booed and jeered at them. Naruto went to the edge of the stage, shouting obscenities at the crowd and Sakura followed suit. Kakashi ushered for them to sit down. They were stealing his shot for crying out loud!

"Hello Kakashi!" Naruto beamed, not sparing a glance in Hinata's direction.

"Well, Naruto, why do you feel that you aren't Shinji's father?" Kakashi asked and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Why the hell else? That baby don't look nothin like me!" He walked over to the TV and pointed adamantly at the picture of Shinji. "I got blonde hair and blue eyes that baby got black hair and gray eyes! That ain't mine!" Naruto yelled.

"And it's ugly." Sakura chirped, putting her unwanted two cents in. The crowd booed.

"How is he that baby's daddy when he's the father of my baby?" Sakura screeched as she rubbed her obscenely flat belly and Naruto kissed her on the cheek which made the angry crowd boo again.

"Okay, okay, settle down. The results are in." Kakashi said, getting a manila envelope from a stagehand in the audience.

"Anything that you would like to say Hinata?" Kakashi asked as he prolonged the anticipated envelope opening. Hinata shook her head she could barely breath let alone say anything.

"Well, here are the results. Naruto… you are…NOT the father!" Kakashi announced. Naruto started to jump around and scream.

"What? What? I aint da daddy, bitch! I aint da daddy!"

Sakura and Naruto then began to make out on stage.

"See trix! He aint yo baby daddy! He's mines!" Sakura sneered nasally after she detached herself from the sloppy kiss and Naruto and Sakura walked off backstage. This was a victory for the village idiots.

"Okay, Hinata, I believe you have two other men you wanted tested just in case Naruto fell through? May we bring them out?" Kakashi comforted and Hinata nodded through the tears.

"Okay, let's bring out Neji Hyuga and Sasuke Uchiha." Kakashi announced.

From backstage came Neji in a suit and tie, talking incessantly on a cell phone. Sasuke came out behind him in a pair of faded blue jeans with holes at the knee and a ripped black t-shirt. Hinata tensed as both men sat on either side of her.

"Okay Hinata let's start with Neji. He's your…first cousin, correct?" Both Hyugas nodded the affirmative. "How did that happen?" Kakashi asked perplexed by the incest.

"I-I-I was drunk at a party once a-and...it just happened." Hinata said simply.

"Neji, what would you do if this baby turned out to be yours?" Kakashi asked.

"Hold on, I have another client." Neji said as he dialed another number on his cell phone. He flipped his long brown hair over his shoulder which caused everyone to sweat drop.

"Ooookay, Hinata how did you and Sasuke hook up?" Kakashi asked.

"Umm well, we met at work and it kind of went off from there." Hinata said softly and Kakashi.

"What would you do if you turned out to be the baby's father?" Kakashi asked Sasuke.

"Hn." Sasuke said.

"Man of few words, I see. Okay, here are the test results." Kakashi started but was interrupted by Sakura storming back onstage.

"It's neither of them, Kakashi! It's probably her father's baby! Neji and Sasuke would never stoop so low as to screw her!" Sakura screeched.

Sasuke threw a kunai at Sakura, making her run back backstage. Neji ignored them and continued having what sounded like phone sex with someone named Gaara.

"Shut the hell up, Sakura. I don't see why Naruto would want some used up whore that's been scored more times than a football team." Sasuke said getting pissed and Naruto jumped in.

"Don't talk to her like that! At least she didn't willingly go off to some pedophile so they could use her body! Yah! Yah! Tell em bout that Michael Jackson look-a-like, Orochimaru!" Naruto countered and Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

"You didn't take your meds this morning did you Narutard?" Sasuke said.

"No, I didn't…hey wait! I don't take meds! Well maybe a few, but NO! I forgot my Ritalin so yeah!" Naruto yelled and he started thrashing around as two men in white suits came to take him to the happy home.

"Noooooooo!" Naruto yelled in protest but his pleas were ignored.

"Anyway, back to the show!" Kakashi said trying to direct the attention back to him. A producer by the cameraman signaled for a commercial break. "Um, we'll be back after these brief messages!" Kakashi said to the dismay of his audience.

_Having trouble finding a place to hide? Are you black and supposedly dead from a drive by on the Las Vegas Strip?_

_Is your name Tupac?_

_If you answered Yes to any of these questions, then hide in Jamaica!_

_Its hard to find a black person there! Just ask Paige!_

_This important message has been brought to you by the stupid stuff 'Paige Says When She's Actually Thinking'_

"Okay, welcome back!" The audience politely clapped. "Before the break, we were going to find out who the father to Hinata Hyuga's baby."

A hush came over the crowed as they waited on bored baited breath to see who the father was.

"Neji Hyuga, in the case of 8 month old Shinji Hyugaa, you are…NOT the father! Sasuke Uchiha, in the case of 8 month old, Shinji Hyugaa, you…ARE the father!" Kakashi yelled in surprise and the whole audience gasped.

"Bring out the baby!" Kakashi commanded.

Sasuke jaw practically hit the floor at the announcement and Hinata was on the verge tears as a body guard with an expensive looking dark blue stroller came onstage with their son. In the stroller was a sleeping baby Shinji. The body guard put the stroller in front of the parents and left. Sasuke picked up the baby and stared at him. Shinji had woken up now and was staring back at his father. Then Sasuke nodded his head with approval. This was definitely his son.

"He's mine." Sasuke stated bluntly as he placed the baby boy back into his stroller and kissed Hinata's cheek.

"Well, Sasuke, what are you going to do now?" Kakashi asked and Sasuke smirked.

"I'm going to fuck Hinata's brains out. We need more babies." Sasuke stated and Hinata blushed beat red as he started kissing her madly.

Hinata wrapped her legs around his waist, Sasuke then carried her backstage. After about twenty seconds Hinata came back on stage, slightly ruffled, to get the stroller.

"Almost forgot the baby!" Hinata said breathlessly and then she hurried about five seconds a camera came on and you could see the two making out and Sasuke put a hand over the camera, almost taking out the camera man's left eye. Kakashi and the audience sweat dropped at the 'happy' turn of events.

"Well join us next time on Kakashi when we talk to a man who is married with children but has a secret life of dressing up like a woman." Kakashi said and the camera zoomed out.

_**CC Note: REVIEW!**_


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